I have this weird fantasy about being pregnant cause I’m a fuck and I have been constipated since eating Thai earlier today and I can feel needing to poop now but I don’t want to cause I feel like I’m in my second trimester.
some guy just called my number thinking i was a male prostitute, and he started talking to me about how much he could pay me so i pulled up gunshot noises on my computer and started screaming and he panicked and hung up
911 jUST FFUCKING CALLLLED ME IA AMC LAUGHHING SO HARD I TOLD THEM THE SITUEATION AND I’M STULL FUCMKING LAUGHING BECUASE NO W HTE’YRE TRACING THE GUY TO ARREST HIM FOR TRYING TO SOLICITEA ND PAY FOR SEX
I’VE DONE A GOOD
just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism
I bet he can’t even name the 4.